


The Russian Fairy

by flyingisabetterwordforfalling (FlyingFalling)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bi Katsuki Yuuri, Bisexual Character, Coming Out, Competition, Complicated Relationships, Developing Friendships, Did I mention Victor is not straight?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, LGBTQ Themes, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-sexual, Other, Protective Yuri, Trans Character, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, death mention, does this need to be mentioned?, rivals to friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 00:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8424379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingFalling/pseuds/flyingisabetterwordforfalling
Summary: Even knowing he was here, Yuuri could not fully understand what had happened. Could not fully grasp the concept of Viktor Nikiforov being here in Japan, staying and actually sleeping in his home. He buried his head in his pillow when he thought about the other professional figure skater who, for some time, would also stay here. From the very first moment they had met, he had known how much the kid despised him, despite their age gap and him being actually far better and elegant than Yuuri had ever hoped of being.





	1. Chapter 1

Yuuri had been lying awake for quite some time now, he had still not fully progressed what was happening around him. His idol had followed him to his home country, after seeing a video of him, after seeing Yuuri's take on his very own performance. It had been embarrassing and overwhelming all at once, still was.  
  
Even knowing he was here, Yuuri could not fully understand what had happened. Could not fully grasp the concept of Viktor Nikiforov being here in Japan, staying and actually sleeping in his home. He buried his head in his pillow when he thought about the other professional figure skater who, for some time, would also stay here.  
  
From the very first moment they had met, he had known how much the kid despised him, despite their age gap and him being actually far better and elegant than Yuuri had ever hoped of being.

Startled by the sudden presence of another person Yuuri sat up, blindly reaching for the light switch as well as his glasses. Makkachin looked up, only to fall asleep again moments later. Yuuri blinked a little, to get used to the light and blinked some more, when he recognized the person.  
  
There, tear streaks running down his face, and wiping his hair out of his eyes stood the Russian teen, glaring at him despite looking as if he wanted nothing more than to hide somewhere and had run to the first room he could find.  
  
"Wrong room, wanted to see Viktor.", mumbled the kid and turned, as he probably in an attempt to act discreetly wiped his eyes with his shirt and turned around to run out of the room as suddenly as he had appeared.  
  
Still, Yuuri was faster. Had jumped out of his bed, at the sight of the clearly distraught teenager and reached for his arm. Concerned. He may not be exactly sure what he should think or how he should act around the other skater and yet all he could see was a child, someone who needed another person to comfort them.  
  
"Are you alright?"

  
He was not surprised when Yuri almost jumped out of his reach to avoid being touched. Despite turning away he turned around to face Yuuri, smiling almost dangerously, his eyes shining with unshed tears.  
  
"You happy now? You've got him to get you to be famous, to be a star and everything! He'll forget about everything but you, even me. What makes you so special?!"  


  
Yuri's words were harsh and yet they were full of unspoken sadness, grief even. And then the younger one sank down to his knees, and looked sadly up at him. Somehow Yuuri was glad he had taken off all of his posters, seeing his friend and mentor all over his opponent's wall would perhaps make the teen even more angry. Not knowing what else he could do Yuuri mirrored his posture, the two of them sitting in the middle of his room, facing each other.

  
"Even his fricking dog likes you more than me, and I've know that furball for so long...", Yuri whispered after a while, sounding somehow hollow.

 

The teen giggled then, before eventually starting to sob. And Yuuri warily reached out again, intending to pat his back or something to at least try to calm him down, surprised, when the younger one almost immediately clung onto him, crying into his opponent's pyjama jacket.

  
What should he say, how could he answer? He was not actually able to cope with a teenager sobbing into his clothes, even more so during nighttime when it was a person who seemed to hate him, who now cried with rage and showed how young he in fact still was. And then Yuuri realized what was going on.  
  
Yuri was a child, too young to not be afraid of change and losing a person he cared about. Jealousy and fear of loss; what had happened to this boy to react like that? Was it his career or was there something else? He usually seemed to boss people around, giving sassy and mostly plain rude answers to every single question or even conversation and yet he was a child. Vulnerable and seemingly in need of a person who cared. About him, his problems.  
  
Which got Yuuri to wonder how and why he could behave the way he did at such a young age. Trying to shove people away, or was he different when he was around people he cared about -and only these people? Was Viktor like a father, or older brother to him who listened when he needed to talk to someone?  
  
Thinking about all this Yuuri remained silent, knowing everything he would say in the end could eventually upset the kid even more.  
  
When his knees began to hurt, and his feet started to fall asleep from sitting there on the ground for too long -even though he was used to sitting like that and still could not bear it for longer than maybe half an hour when his feet felt sore from all the training- the younger one started to speak again. Seemingly not even expecting answers.

"What- what makes you so special? You're just _you._ Ordinary, you don't look overly handsome, your style is not very special... and yet he flew here, while I trained for so long to become different, handsome. The Russian _Fairy_... do you know how many people threatened to beat me up for being this pretty little boy with a girlish face, for being gay?!"  
  
It was then that Yuuri thought he could feel his heart breaking, tears forming in his own eyes. Prejudices and hate were things that had followed him everywhere, if not for being a skater then for his interest in Viktor Nikiforov, who during his childhood had been nothing more than his idol. Yet, other children and teens who had found about Viktor being his idol had teased him for it when he could not stop talking about him.  
  
Back then the other children had teased him for being gay, for liking so-called girly sports and gushing over another man, or then rather another boy. All those years ago, he had had not even thought about not being fully straight or anything at all for that matter. Had not even thought about maybe having a crush. On Viktor. -By now he knew he did.  Embarrassingly so, even after so many years he still could not help getting all flustered due to a certain Russian -who was now probably sleeping, in his house, only a few rooms away from his own.

Trying to stop, or even to interrupt his trains of thought he hugged the boy more firmly. Startled, when the other gave a yelp and buried his face in his hands.  
  
  
"Don't pity me! -I'm not gay...or at least I think I'm not. Girls are nice, you know? No one bats an eye at the manliest of men wearing frilly dresses and yet, don't you dare be different...hah..."  
  
He seemed to talk without thinking, almost as if he just had to rant about his thoughts and then snorted angrily as their eyes met again. Yuri's eyes were red, his hair was messy and now he indeed looked so much younger than he was, and even though he sat in front of Yuuri the boy seemed to be way too far away. As if he had locked himself in an invisible cage, alone with his emotions and sorrows.  
  
Finally daring to speak Yuuri carefully considered what he might say, how he should react to all that.  
  
"...If I may ask, what do you mean by being different?"  
  
  
"I'm me. Being Russian, that's not what you should be."  
  
He eventually answered vaguely and Yuuri nodded as if he understood while having no idea what the other was implying.  
  
"Viktor knows and he protects me by not ever addressing it."  
  
"You do not have to say it, Yuri-kun, you do not have to come out to me as whatever it is you are. Not because I would be disgusted but because you don't have to feel as if you have to-"  
  
Within seconds the kid's eyes were glaring at him, they seemed even colder from when he came rushing into his room.  
  
"That's the problem. I do have to come out, to finally be me. But I fucking can't! All around the world people like me are constantly being murdered, beaten to death, set on fire, everything, for being courageous enough to be themselves!"  
  
Yuri was not actually yelling, his voice seemed rather broken at such horrendous words.  
  
"I've always been a little different from other boys, been a little shorter, a little more thinner. People have called me pretty, handsome, cute but all they ever saw was an androgynous boy in too feminine outfits and not me..."  
  
There were new tears, and when Yuuri, with a questioning look in his eyes slightly spread out his arms, thus silently asking the questions if Yuri wanted to be hugged again the other simply shook his head.  
  
There was a pause, silence between them and Yuuri needed a while until he fully understood what he had just heard and what it meant in the long term.

In the end he had only one question.  
  
"What's your name?"

"Yuri...?"

  
"No, what is your name?"

  
And in the end she tells him and when she hugs him he promises to use that name around her just like Viktor does, only if she lets him that is, while at the same time promising to keep her secret as long as she wants him to keep it -and Yuuri will keep it for as long as he has to, until she is ready and safe once she comes out publically, if that is what she wants. Now finally understanding it has never been a Russian term of endearment Viktor used to address her with.

It has only ever been her name, her real name.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been in this fandom for what, a week now? -And this is what I came up with as my first fanfiction about all these characters, and especially Yuri of course; I hope you like it. :)


	2. Chapter 2

It was not the wisest idea, yet it was the best she could think of.

She had heard about what was happening all around their country to so many people who were in some way just like her, outcasts in the midst of society, and tried to brace herself for the worst when she asked other skaters, only the ones she sincerely trusted, how bad it was around them. Of course without ever outing herself when she asked them how much they feared for the well-being of the people they loved, as well as their own by now. The others just thought she was a supporter, which she actually was and yet they did not know the whole truth.  
  
On some days she just called them to see if they were still there, had not been arrested yet or worse. Sometimes she simply cried herself to sleep for days, sometimes even weeks, after getting yet another report which was even worse than the others before, especially so when someone had indeed been taken away.

Viktor had patted her head when she tried to hide her emotions around the rink one day, and thus around all the other skaters, tried to calm her down and she, trying to act as she always did, had screamed at him to not treat her like a child. Knowing she would also put him in danger should she even once utter as much as a hint in public that she herself was different.

Should she one day be considered suspicious, suspect even, their friendship would make outsiders certaninly make assumptions about Viktor's gender or sexual identity as well. Even more so, because he kept his personal life rather secret -despite posting almost everything else on social media and having a reputation of being a playboy. All the same, he would be vulnerable if only to keep her safe instead. Their friendship and trust in one another would surely be seen as enough evidence to claim Viktor was different in some kind or another as well.

  
She was barely sixteen and yet wanted to rebel against everything, to show who she was and would always be despite so many people certainly going to react in the most negative ways. From the day on she had first thought about being unlike the other male skaters her age, she had thought about her very own identity, and then about her name. 

Did not like it all that much, still it was a common name. For boys, men.

She was neither of that, or at least did not like to be referred to as such. Being female felt more comfortable to her.

Yet, it was something she could be on the inside and would not be able to show on the outside as well, for many years to come.  
  
  
Despite all that, she kind of liked Viktor calling her Yurio, even though the name in itself was far from being her first choice as her own. It was not actually the name she would have chosen for herself and yet it had been given to her by a person she deeply cared about. Not that she would say that to Viktor. Or at least not in such an unfortunate choice of words.   
  
In the end, he could actually think she did like him -well, she did. But when there were others present she tended to act around him as if he were nothing more than a coach, a more experienced and older skater, thus more of a fellow sportsperson than a friend and almost someon she secretly called her mentor.  
  
More than once he had looked at her in a strange way, almost as if he was sad that she tried to shield him by pretending to have nothing more to do with him than competing for the same country. And then he had run off to coach another person, to make matters worse, a person with the same birth name as her.   
  
Or rather her deadname as she had learnt was the meaning for calling a person who did not actually go by their birth name.  
  
  
And then, being upset at Viktor's behaviour towards her, and at the other Yuuri for not getting anything at all, had made her too angry to realize she had come out to another person despite Viktor.  
  
To make her situation even worse she had come out to an almost complete stranger, an opponent at that. Despite him being Japanese and a skater she barely knew anything about him and had told him her deepest and darkest secret -and was still freaking out about it. Next to Viktor no one had known she was in fact female, not even her family -among whom maybe her grandfather and mother had suspected something was definitively different about her for quite some time now. Still, she had felt different for so much longer, years even and was simply unable to put her feelings into words.  
  
Even now she would not tell her family what she was thinking about, felt slightly foolish for keeping it from them. Even though she knew, it was also a different kind of protection. None the less they were better of that way, she would not cause them grief for being something deemed wrong almost everywhere she went, as long as she stayed in the land she had been born and raised in.     
  
And now, another person knew. For a long dreadful day she waited for reporters to come here to cluster around the place -which they were doing anyway, since, well Viktor Nikiforov and herself, to no surprise once again still referred to as Yuri Plisetsky were currently staying here, in her opinion in the middle of nowhere in Japan.

  
But no one had said anything or even mentioned anything and so she waited a bit longer, not even slightly surprised, when Viktor told her, a few days after she had burst into Yuuri's room instead of Viktor's in the middle of the night, that he had talked to the Japanese skater.  
  
Viktor had even been slightly fidgeting with his hair, when he told her that Yuuri was in fact to be trusted, and had added with a subtle smile that he would never out another person on purpose -not even himself. At that she had been slightly confused, then surprised, when Viktor seemed almost too happy about a slight detail she was missing and then he blushed slightly and - oh.  
Hearing and now knowing that about the other skater, she was kind of relieved.  
  
Yuuri had indeed promised her to not say anything, yet she had had a faint suspicion that he did not mean it and might use the offered information to his advantage but according to Viktor he had sworn to never say anything to another person about Yurio's true identity.

She knew it was mean to assume he could use her gender identity to hurt her, but she could not help it, had read and heard so much about other people's experience and such backlash was among the first things a lot of them mentioned. Thus, it had been the first reaction she expected herself.   
  
  
Which in the end made her burst into tears was Yuuri's almost shy question if he could call her Yuriko instead of the name Viktor had given her as a fill-in name until she eventually chose her own. Uncertainty in his voice he had hastily explained that he thought it would at least be better than Yurio and was in fact actually a girl's name.  
  
Even though it was not Russian -because she still wanted to hold onto her own language while choosing a name which would actually fit- she accepted to be called Yuriko by Yuuri as well as by Viktor, who pretended for a while to be sulky due to her rather choosing another name.  
  
After thinking about way too many names, she choose one for herself, because despite everything she still held onto the meaning of her birth name even though it meant peasant, or farmer, but that had been what her family used to be. She worked for them, earned money to support them and therefore she wanted to be reminded of her family, her origin.  
  
It was also a bonus point that she could now pretend the name most people called her was merely a nickname. A short form for her actual, her real name.  
  
Jurina "Yuri" Plisetsky.     



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to write something happy and somewhat uplifting. I hope it actually is and you enjoy reading this little chapter as well. :)

Watching him, being out there on the ice, she cannot help but notice all the little details that keep changing with every single one of his performances. His determination is clear for everyone to see, and even though she cannot read Yuuri's mind, she at least thinks to have an idea of what is going on inside his head.  
  
He wants to make his coach proud, wants to make this all worth it, for himself and for Viktor as well. Still, every time the theme he chose is being mentioned she cannot help but cringe slightly, internally.  
The commentator captures the excitement of the crowd, puts into words what most people are thinking and when the performance finally ends, without even the slightest hint of any kind of misstep Yuri wants to yell at these two idiots. She wants to shake Yuuri, for being so obliviously and obviously in love and she does not know if she wants to kick Viktor in the shin for being too strict with himself instead of allowing himself to be happy with another person for once.  
  
Yes, she is a teenager and seeing people she knows being so utterly in love with one another is somewhat strange and yet she wishes they would just get together already -and thinking of at least one of them as an unofficial sibling does not make it any better, she just wants him to find happiness. And yet, one of the final sentences of the commentator, that love wins, makes her shudder.  
  
It reminds her of the entire campaign that supported people who were in same-sex or otherwise non-straight relationships and she feared others might pick up on such small details as well. If they could not do one thing, it was to officially state what seemed to be blatantly clear to everyone but them.  
  
When Viktor and Yuuri finally sat beside one another in the kiss and cry she almost expected them to actually do either or even both of those. They did not.  
  
She still wanted to punch the monitor or even them, when Viktor formed a heart with his hands and leaned slightly over to Yuuri, who was blushing by then. Blushing.  
And then his coach almost glomped the other skater and at that point she was sure he would either push him away in embarrassment or jump up and run to hide somewhere.  
  
Once again, he surprised her for doing nothing of that sort and to Jurina it almost seemed as if he was actually leaning into the embrace of the other man. They were hopeless and even if they in fact did not know about the mutual attraction between them she somehow still feared others would indeed see it as what it was, and get them in trouble for it.

  
And yet, it was common and absolutely not strange to be affectionate and be there for one another in the kiss and cry, especially not for a figure skater and their coach once they sat there and waited for the announcement of said skater's marks.  
  
She was fifteen, still preferred to be called sixteen, because in her opinion stating you were sixteen sounded more like an adolescent or teenager than a child, and he, Yuuri was older than her and most of the time behaved as if he was not. She knew he was being coy around Viktor and yet she thought getting together was easy or something they should manage to do easily, they were adults after all.  
  
Even after thinking about it for so long she could not see why so many people thought Viktor as well as Yuuri were supposedly two of the best-looking and even hottest male skaters out there. She simply could not see it, they did look good, but still; besides that she did not get what all these people, mostly other girls her age, were on about. Maybe because she knew both of them personally and thought about them as friends. Following a certain twitter page once had had certainly showed they were not the only ones people talked about in that way.  
  
Sometimes she felt objectified, and feared all this would get even worse once she eventually came out as a girl, or then rather a woman and scolded herself for even thinking that. Mila was a woman as well and let people knew immediately if they had done something she disliked, she time and time again spoke out against all kinds of  prejudices -in her very own way, making people believe they had offended her immensely and then she got them to apologize, not without lecturing them about what they had just said or implied. People talked about the skater's appearances, their bodies, and costumes all the time, and some random strangers even talked and asked about their personal and social lives outside the rink. Sometimes politely, sometimes not so much.     
  
Nevertheless, relationships had either to stay private until you considered yourself ready to put the person you were dating out in the open, with their consent of course, for the whole world to see or you never talked about being with someone or only hinted at being in a relationship and stayed as private as possible about this aspect of your life -as a figure skater.    
  
At least that was the impression she had gotten from Mila who used to be very picky about the people she dated. After her most recent break-up, with that one ice hockey player whose name she never remembered correctly, Jurina asked her why she was crying over someone she did not longer want to be with.  
Rubbing the tears out of her eyes Mila had given her an almost too beaming smile, which turned into a sad one after she had answered the younger girl's question.  
  
"You know what, Yuri, sometimes you have to let people go. Not because you don't love them anymore but because they make you feel as if you cannot love yourself anymore when you're with them."  
  
  
If she was honest she did not fully understand her or the full message behind her words but Jurina certainly knew about self-love and self-acceptance.  
  
Thus, she thought it was rather amazing to see that almost all skaters had chosen themes that had somehow to do with love.  
  
The guy from Thailand, Phichit Chulanont, had chosen a well known song and just like most people who had at least the tiniest bit of knowledge of figure skating she, of course, also knew that song. Notwithstanding his take on it and his performance seemed new, showed the boy he had once been, the boy who had had gotten inspired to become the person and skater he was now.      
  
Georgi on the other hand had become cynical, after Viktor had left the group of theirs and now even more so since his former girlfriend, Anya, was posting pictures with her new partner online. He had become even more bitter about it all and thus he had been already scary enough during his training sessions but now, during the actual performance he was terrifying.  
  
The song, ''Still Alive'', in contrast to his performance had almost made Jurina cry even though she tried to hide it from the others who were watching the other skaters' performances with her. Despite Leo seeming not to notice he was being watched by so many other people, his smile seemed like that of a person who was fighting or competing against an opponent they were not exactly sure they could beat -and Jurina was certain it had nothing to do with all the other skaters.  
Yet, he did not show hesitance or even uncertainty at all, he seemed strong as if this fight was a part of him he had long since accepted as such: had learned to accept and love it as a part of himself.  
  
 And then, there was the last skater whose performance had most definitely nothing to do with Agape and even Mila giggled slightly while watching his performance. His confidence seemed to get the crowd to watch his every move and yet, Jurina had to look away. Too sexual performances made her always uncomfortable, to her they did not seem artistic but almost perverted which she would not say out loud as long as Mila was in the same room. She would tease her again and again about Jurina being a boy, hormone-driven and about to be hitting puberty.  
  
Jurina hated conversations like that, and made sure she did not say anything about that at all. Not around her or their friends at least, and still feared to come out to Mila, the person she loved as she would a sibling. She would wait a while longer, if she eventually told her about her gender not actually being male -even though it could make her stop saying horrible things like that, prejudices not too different from the ones she fought herself,  it could also get Mila to want to stay as far away form her as she could as well.  
  
One day, she wished to be as happy and confident as Yuuri and Viktor seemed to be, when they stood in front of all the cameras once Yuuri was being interviewed after he had actually come in first place. That was not to say that she was not angry at Viktor anymore, for leaving her behind as if he had forgotten their promise; in spite of that she wanted him to find a person who would eventually share a mutual love, of whatever kind they were comfortable with, with him.  
  
Even though Jurina herself was still not sure if she knew what it, love, actually was.  
One day, she hoped she would. Learning to love yourself was also an important kind of love as well, wasn't it?  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm literally crying and yelling and you're making me so emotional; guys, gals and non-binary pals: what is going on?! This story is not even a month old now, and already has over 1000 hits, 100 kudos and wow, I'm not used to that at all. Thank you so, so much, therefore I do hope you like what, or rather the content I am going to add to this story as well. Until then, I hope you enjoy reading the next chapter. Have a nice day. :)

 

 

The training had been longer than usual today, thus she had almost missed watching all the other figure skaters' performances. It was not as if she actually wanted to and yet she had to witness their eagerness to win. Out of respect.

All of them had delivered splendid presentations of their talents, changing parts of their very person to morph into the characters they were showing to the audience. Not that she would say it in front of her rink mates; but most of them were actually getting better with each performance, more amazing.

Which once again awakened the slightly anxious part within her: whispering she had to give even more, had to train even harder than she had ever before.

However, it seemed as if she could not look away from them and once Yuuri stepped out and performed, she gritted her teeth.

He was breathtakingly beautiful, his act one of pure emotion, a confidence he somewhat lacked moments earlier. There he was, once more wooing the judges with his raw portrayal of what she, Jurina, still lacked to find within herself. 

Confidence in being herself, to break the barrier which had been keeping her from reaching her true potential for so long, she could no longer remember how much time had passed. She fought, endured getting yelled at each and every day by her coach or rather coaches, getting told again and again that she withdrew a certain part of her talent, held herself back. All the more, she held her head high and walked, moved, skated with a false sense of security and self-worth. 

They were telling her, without ever having to say a single word, with every single fall she should just give up already, that she was not worth being on the same ground and ice Victor, as well as so many others, had trained on.

Was it not enough that she knew that already?  
  
Victor had gone to train another skater and Jurina tried to hold onto the small part of herself that wanted to genuinely like Yuuri, and yet she envied the caring smile Victor directed at him.

His shell-shocked stare, when the song ended and the skater stopped as well: that was not the pride Victor used to show her whenever she managed the most difficult step and jump sequence. It was a kind of emotion she had never seen before, not from Victor.  
  
But from her beloved dedushka, when he had called her the most talented little boy he had ever seen. Even then she had cringed at his choice of words, nevertheless kept quiet. It had not been the time to tell her family then and it was not now.

Not yet.  
  
Yakov would be screaming and fuming as soon as she stepped out onto the ice, if she behaved like Georgi had done during the many hours he had spend with learning his performances and even more so to be more confident in himself and his skills.  
  
At least she had found a way to fake such a confidence without any other person being able to catch a glance behind her carefully crafted mask.  
  
She had known who would compete today, knew almost every single step of Georgi's performance and could still not fathom why he had chosen the theme or rather to try to win his former girlfriend back. A part of her understood that he was still hurt, yet people moved on. Viktor certainly had.  
  
With a slight tinge of pride for her rink mate's final score she waited for the next person to start their performance, instantly knew it had to be Yuuri Katsuki -who seemed much more calm than he had before, was not a nervous mess for once.  
  
To her, he united diverse aspects within himself: on the one hand he was a person Viktor liked, thus she felt as if she owed him to like the Japanese skater as well, to some degree she did and yet, on the other hand he was a skater from another country, an opponent she had sworn to beat with everything she had.  
    
Maybe one day she could like him not just as an idea of a person but as the two things he actually was. For now, as an opponent he had stolen the only coach she had actually liked and enjoyed working with, someone who had vowed to be by her side and help her to become a better version of herself. He had never phrased it like that, and yet she had asked if he would and he had simply repeated his promise.  
  
She refused to see how much he loved being out there on the ice, refused to see that he was not as perfect as her mind made him to be, to give her dislike for him even more fuel. It was clear that he had been crying, which slightly comforted her, even though it could also have been her who had to stand there. Sometimes it was nerve wreaking to perform, sometimes you actually hated the sport you spend countless hours to get better and better at and yet you loved it. At least in a best case scenario you did.  
  
The camera briefly panned over to Viktor and she almost gasped when his determined expression changed to an almost pained one. Yet, not even Mila said anything about it, not even hinting at a joke about how much Viktor had turned into a coach who earnestly believed in the skills of another person despite most of their Russian rink mates doubting he had it in him to be a mentor for a person who had been nowhere near their expertise.

When Yuuri managed a perfect seemingly quadruple Salchow, then a triple loop and even the triple axel which was slowly becoming his signature move, a triple flip she expected his performance was coming to an end, which, of course, it did not.  
  
The second half of his performance was as winsome as fist first, despite the mistakes and missteps. Then she simply waited, with baited breath for the final part, sensing it would be so entirely worthy of any skater under Viktor's watch and was even more surprised, when the announced quadruple toe loop was simply turned into a quadruple flip as if it did not cost Yuuri any effort to do so. For a moment, which seemed to take entirely to long she stood there, staring at the screen without being able to understand why he would risk to ruin his entire performance or to faint on the spot due to being utterly exhausted just to integrate his coach's signature move.  
  
When Viktor started to run she wanted to scream at him, to not do whatever he intended to do. She partially, to be honest for the most part, wanted him to not catch Yuuri once more or to at least yell at him and not be so touchy and emotional around the other skater.  
  
Then he jumped and Jurina literally screamed internally, while swearing in Russian on the outside. That much to being discreet about preferring a certain skater. The look of pure adoration written all over Viktor's face... they were just hugging, nothing heady to see there, nothing more than a skater and his coach. She kind of hoped at least the rest of the world would just look away and pretend nothing ever happened, besides a coach hugging the person he trained.  
  
Somehow no one seemed to mind. That had had to be planned, a public stunt to get the world talking about them -her thoughts were racing, even though she knew it to be false, Viktor would never do something like that with the public or other people's opinions in mind, her mind literally had to hold onto them being the enemy to be able to compete against them, or rather Yuuri.    
  
Yet, she was happy for her friend and also boiling with rage. Especially when Viktor told the reporters he would be coming, or rather return, to Russia.  
  
For now she was not able to witness the excited chatter of the other girls, left them to gush over the perhaps already world-famous relationship of Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki. She needed time to calm down -would eventually send Viktor a short text to congratulate them for certain things, not without telling them she was still going to win.  
  
She, at the very least, would hold onto her promise.  
  
  
    


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this, all kinds of feedback make me really happy. :)  
> I hope you'll like this next chapter as well. -Have a nice day. :)

 

From the very first moment they had officially arrived in Moscow there had been way too many people. Yelling Yurachka and other different nicknames. 

She was proud to have fans, happy to see so many people supporting her and yet there were other people she longed to see, needed to see.  
Mila would certainly understand, thus she asked her to watch her luggage and made off as soon as she got the chance to do so.  
  
She stepped out of the airport, searching for the battered old car her grandfather had had for so long, she did not even knew its actual age and did not really want to ask. All that mattered now was her dedushka waiting for her somewhere around here. Then he stepped out of his car, wearing his familiar coat, he used to wrap her in when she fell during her training sessions as a child and it was as if her feet moved by their own accord.  
  
Every other person around her be damned, she had not seen him for so long. She ran, her heart pounding in her chest, realizing belatedly that she should not have jumped into the arms of the old man, due to his back pain. Sometimes she just forgot that he was getting older, was not the man who used to carry her around on his shoulders or chased after her to play tag anymore.  
  
Soon after, while sitting in his car, smelling the scents inside it, eating his homemade food Jurina just wanted to sit there for a little while longer while he took her to see the rest of the family. He liked food, so talking about food seemed like a great idea. She hastily and also embarrassed had to assure him she still liked his pirozhkis. He got like that, trying to make her think of home, created their own little bubble of her being just Yuri again, not the figure skater but her dedushka's grandchild, who listened intensely to his every word about their family.  
  
Then reality hit Jurina again, when she was just getting used to the warmth she felt whenever she was on her way back home. Because Viktor was as well, he was actually here in Russia as well. Later he was, to no surprise, already at the hotel once she arrived. She overheard the reporters and their questions, then slightly offended also listened to Viktor's answers, or lack of those.  
  
Despite that she had no time to get sulky over him not mentioning her, because he turned to her, and she took it as a challenge. Now he was a coach and the skater he trained was her opponent, as skaters they from now on, or as long as the competitions lasted were going to be enemies. He had to get used to that, had to know it already.  
  
Upon meeting her former rink mate she did not have to brace herself to face Yuuri later, after all they were here to achieve the same ultimate ambition, had the same long-term goal.  
  
She would show the two of them she was more than they could see; she was going to be so much better than they had seen her before. Her own ambition was by far greater, she told herself. If she thought about it she could just have let him get into the elevator without so much as a word and yet she had to tell the other skater what she was aiming for.  
  
From now on she would have to see him as the threat he was, not in a personal manner but in a professional. It was easier calling him pig -even though if she was perfectly honest he did not actually deserve to be called that anymore after she had seen that despite his lack of self-confidence he was capable of getting in shape and reaching goals he actually intended to reach.  
  
He was not weak, and yet she had to -make herself- believe he was, to be able to beat him. Yuuri Katsuki was trained by Viktor Nikiforov after all, had accomplished so much ever since the two of them had started working together. It was better not to think about it and to keep thinking of him as the person who had stolen Viktor away from her, the person who had made him break his promise to her. In some way he had, unknowingly so, and yet Viktor had left and seemed to not be able to talk about anything or anyone but him.  
  
  
And then it was already time to once more watch the other skaters' performances. They were good, and yet she was confident enough in herself to see that they made mistakes.  
  
Still, seeing that one guy celebrating with his sister made her once more realize she probably would have to perform without her family being here to see her in person and not just on the television, even though said family of hers had never been a huge group of people after all.  
  
Thinking about another person's family, or rather Yuuri's -piggy's she reminded herself- made her sad and also slightly angry. He needed an entire support system back home, while it had in the long run always ever been, at least referring to relatives, her mother and her grand-father.  
  
And then he even had the nerve to show how much he had grown as a skater... and maybe even as a person, which she still did not want to dwell on for much longer.  
  
She was confident, the audience would love her.  
She looked amazing, she was confident. She would amaze the audience.  
The mantra-like statements which kept repeating themselves were also telling her to keep her head high, to not let herself get too distressed because in the end she would eventually do great.  
Even without _him_ being there to see it.  
  
Due to that, it was somewhat soothing seeing piggy's as well as Viktor's faces droop at the sight of her, not even saying a word when she moved past them. Still, she heard the skater's words, silently smiling to herself at his open praise.  
  
He was right, which she would not say out loud in any way, this was her true self. Not entirely, and yet it was still a part of herself she was now comfortable to show to the rest of her beloved mother country, Russia, and the rest of the world.  
  
Her heart was beating once she stepped onto the ice, in a matter of seconds she could no longer hear other people's voices, the audience's cheers, too focused on the couple, once more getting mad at them for being so painfully open about their feelings, their love for one another.  
  
It was time to show them, despite not feeling that kind of love, she herself was capable of showing her emotions, an entirely different kind of affection and somewhat devotion.  
Knowing full well that it would also be a homage to Viktor, his skills as a skater and a coach.  
  
When she finally started her very own interpretation of his performance Jurina was no longer skating on the ice watched by so many people, she was actually dancing. From then on she was channelling her feelings, expressing herself through movements instead of words.  
By now, words would not be enough and would tell too much all at once.  
  
For this very moment she had beaten herself up, physically as well as emotionally, it was her chance and she would take it. At least she managed the quadruple Salchow, triple toe loop without failing again. She gave everything she still had to give, managing her final jump also the way it was intended to go. It was not perfect, far from that in her opinion and yet she had not made an entire fool out of herself.  
  
The older and more experienced ones at least did not seem to look down on her... not that she needed their compliments or appreciation. Still, it was nice.  
  
As long as it did not come from such an annoying jerk, seriously calling himself king and being so full of himself, nonetheless the joke was on him.  
She liked the cat ears which had landed directly on her head and getting called a lady for the way she presented herself, thus Jurina did not bother to say something back and moved over to the kiss and cry to learn about her ranking.  
  
She could not help the snort once the Canadian skater leaned down to kiss the ice and slightly wanted him to get stuck there -it would serve him right.  
  
Yurina had reached her goal for the day, now wanted nothing more than to get some sleep. Instead of a warm bed she walked straight into an on-going argument, puzzled by Viktor's expression when his partner, or whatever kind of labels they used, looked at him with such an intense gaze Jurina almost thought she was witnessing him confessing to not wanting him as his coach any longer or to be thinking about quitting skating altogether.  
  
And then he asked a question, no one was in any way prepared for. He wanted his former coach to coach his piggy, because -what?!         
  
  
   
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, once again, to all the people reading this. This is a little shorter than the other chapters, however I wanted to keep my routine and post this today. -Have a nice day. :)

They had stood there, for a while almost as if they were numbed by Viktor's dramatic statement, then he had hugged Yuuri and left.

What had surprised Jurina, maybe even all of them, even more was that Jakov had actually accepted to train the Japanese skater, even if -or maybe just because -  it was for a single day.

Finally, finally her dedushka came to meet her again, which brought back the tiniest spark of shame, knowing he was not actually feeling well due to her having been overly emotional upon their reunion. Despite that he had once more given her food and she had simply sat there in his car, unable to comprehend her own emotions when he told her, while waiting for her reaction that he had put pork cutlet, scrambled eggs and white rice inside the pirozhki, then adding with a serious expression it was supposed to be a pork cutlet bowl pirozhki.   
  
She tried not to tear up, once again taken aback how much her grandfather seemed to know without her having to say as much as a word. He knew how much she wanted to win against all the other figure skaters and yet he had his various ways of telling her she needed to see them as people as well, to be able to work alongside them and not merely against them.  


However even he did not know everything. Looking at him, the pride in his eyes, she could simply not tell him yet. As much as she wanted to keep holding onto this little moment, his warm smile, she knew she had to go back eventually.  
  
The performances started spectacularly, not that she was surprised after all she had witnessed before. Superhuman was an interesting theme, and once he fell she remembered the sheer force of will she had so often seen, when she watched Viktor train, after most of their rink mates had long since left the ice rink and their own training sessions for that day.  
  
She spotted Mila next to the Italian girl while her brother started his performance without her by his side. For a while she wondered why she chose to stay away from her relative, her twin even and knew it was none of her business.   
His three-jump combination still looked rather impressive, despite that conflicted look the cameras showed once they zoomed in on his face -Jurina doubted it was an actual or rather planned part of his performance. Had she missed something, why was everyone around her seemingly feeling down all of a sudden?  
  
Still, once the cameras captured his twin running towards him and hugging him, she felt slightly better. Not that she was getting sentimental, not at all. Jurina simply disliked families bearing grudges and thus risking to one day be drifting apart entirely.  
She was getting better at hiding her relieved smiles and tried to watch the other skaters' performances without appearing to be too interested in their programs. Then she actually took her time to get ready for her own performance, only telling her coaches literally seconds before that she planned to change the jump composition.  
  
Her fellow skaters were getting more domineering with every single performance, thus, if she wanted to win she had to give everything to get on their level.   
  
She loved her costume, the colours and the fact she could easily call Viktor her idol should some reporter actually bother to ask about her appearance, even though it would seem obvious with both of them being from the same country. It was all too easy to say that, to speak about her honouring her former rink mate, to openly show he had been the one who inspired her most. All while knowing that nowadays he was not, at least not for the most part. It was mostly herself she was honouring, without having to tell another person; now, at least on the ice she could show her true self and did not have to hide herself any longer.  
  
As she was told, she danced with beauty, her very own grace.   
  
Not wasting much thought on her final marks, she knew she had to give more than just her best to make it. All while looking flawlessly beautiful, stunning and portraying a person to be reckoned with, despite her being one of the youngest competitors.  
  
Once the second half started however, she started to count: a triple Lutz, a triple flip, a quadruple toe loop, quadruple Salchow, a triple toe loop, a triple loop, double toe loop, a triple axel, single loop, and finally, finally a triple Salchow.   
  
Her heart was pounding, it was hard to breathe in and out, yet she could not stop herself from being giddy with pleasure, as well as slightly giddy in general, wanting to run around and shout and yell in triumph -once her lungs allowed such behaviour again, that had been way more tiring than she remembered, at least during practice she could sometimes rest in between jumps.  
  
After her, of course, it was piggy's turn. But what was he doing, she seriously tried to think about something she might have missed. Oh, there was rather _someone_ who was missing.   
It was not as if she had forgotten about him, and yet she did not understand why he had left as unprepared as he had, telling herself he would eventually tell her the reason himself once he came back.  
  
All the same, piggy should not show that he was close to giving up the way he was, even though he seemed more sad than close to quitting.   
  
He did not deserve to look this sad, not when Viktor was the one by his side, the one who should make him happy, make him feel loved. Certainly not when she was there, a thought she could not overcome, mainly due to it being the truth. Not when she knew what it felt like having Viktor's trust and friendship, and despite that a different kind of love than the one he felt for the other skater.   
  
Now he had managed to stand here, to compete here and the only person supporting him here, the one person who actually expressed their support out loud was Viktor. Had been Viktor.  
  
Her decision was made before she could think any further about it.   
  
Yet, before she could fully show that despite all she believed he was able to win, that she was somewhat on his side, she was interrupted, slightly proud to not have lunged herself at the other skater besides her the moment the jerk opened his mouth to voice his opinion and to once again tease her, just because he could.  
  
After all she was still proud of herself, and even the piggy, even though he had been slightly less the skater he could be today. When he vanished, after having acted in a rather weird and strange way she went after him. Worried he might do something even weirder.   
  
Dancing, performing out there on the ice, and food were the things she had associated with love, caring for other people and being able to show said emotions without having to voice them ever since she had been merely a child. Thus she merely dropped the bag in his lap, was ordering Viktor's little piggy to eat once she actually did manage to find him.   
  
When he actually does seem to cheer up a little she cannot help but drop her stiff attitude , her chest by now seemed to burst with delight and she proudly points out that it had been her deduska who made them.   
She knows Yuuri will cherish homemade food, and by then his expression is actually once again infectious. For once, she does not fight it and openly returns his smile.


End file.
